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Little House on the Ranch Update: Week 14 “The Unicorn Stove Saga”

Have you all ever wanted something so bad you could taste it, and just when it’s within reach it disappears?

That’s how I feel with my unicorn stove. Except I don’t really want to taste the stove itself, I want to taste the delicious food I can make with said stove. But I digress.

I know exactly what I want for a stove for our #littlehouseontheranch. It’s going in flush with the island, so it needs to be a slide in. I want gas burners, double ovens with one bigger than the other, preferably slate colored, with an auto convection conversion on the oven so I don’t burn everything to a crisp. This can’t be that hard to find, can it?

Au Contraire my friends. AU. CONTRAIRE.

We went to the next town over to a locally owned furniture/appliance store, and they didn’t have anything that would fit my specific needs, and couldn’t even find anything in the brands they were able to order that was what I want(need). So we picked out our other appliances there, because, #buylocal, and went on the search for my magical unicorn stove. MyFamer gets on the google on the way to Lowe’s, and there she blows! My perfect stove. It exists! At Sears. And not the brand I wanted. But, Sears is in the next town the other direction and we had places to be, so we stopped at Lowe’s anyway. Some searching on the Lowe’s website produces a picture of the unicorn stove! YIPPEE! But when the unicorn stove’s item number is punched in to the Lowe’s computer network, it doesn’t work. The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away.

I’m anxiously awaiting a phone call from Lowe’s to tell me they can order my stove. I have a feeling I’ll be waiting awhile.

The next day I went to Sears with the knowledge that my unicorn stove is available at Sears. I was feeling pretty good. I put on my fancy leggings and some lip color as to not give my typical “I live in a barn look” and headed to the mall. Then I met Mr. Cocky the appliance man. I told him what I was looking for and the item number. And it didn’t work. Turns out my perfect magical unicorn stove was on the Sears OUTLET website. And that’s a completely different animal. But Mr. Cocky the appliance man was very confident that what I wanted was “no big deal, lots of options.” 20 minutes later into him showing me pictures and me saying, “Nope. Not that one. That has a back display. That’s not gas. The ovens are the same size, no,” he said, “Well if you weren’t so picky this wouldn’t be that hard!” If it were possible for my head to do a 360 on the end of my neck it would have.

10 minutes later he FINALLY clicked on a picture of what I actually wanted. Then, he proceeded to insinuate that I couldn’t afford this stove because it is “the higher end of this line.” Look, dude, whether you are right or not doesn’t matter at this point. I put on fancy pants and lipstick! You aren’t supposed to know I’m poor!

By now I’m just ready to leave because being in a mall for longer than 4 minutes makes me start to twitch, so I asked him how much this actual stove actually costs (hit: never pay what it says online!). He him hawed around and insisted that I give him my name, phone number, AND e-mail address, and he would “take a look on the inside” and see what the best deal he could get me is. Well, that “inside” must be a black hole because it’s been 4 days and I still haven’t heard from him. I’m willing to bet I’m not going to.

Friends, if you see this magical unicorn stove running wild through your backyard, please approach it slowly, as not to spook it, and snap a picture of it for me. If you can get it captured I will give you my credit card info over the phone to get that bad boy paid for and delivered to my house. #thestovestruggleisreal

You didn’t know I had such remarkable artistic skills, did you?

Besides the great unicorn stove debacle, everything else on the house is going perfectly. The guys from Orlinda Furniture Company (shameless plug, Harris is amazing) started wrapping the beams with barn wood in the living room and it looks AMAZING. Poor Glen (the builder), he HATES the idea of putting old looking stuff into a new house. He told my husband, “It’s like buying a brand new tuxedo and wearing your old scuffed up shoes with it.” Bless. BUT he conceded that the work the guys at OFC are doing looks great. I reminded him again to not question my vision. *So far* all of my visions that he has questioned have turned out great. SO FAR. I’m not going to get cocky here. HA!

How amazing does that look?! They are so talented. 

Pretty much all of the barn wood that will be used in our house is coming from a barn that MyFarmers great uncle had on his farm. Lots of memories and life in that old wood. It just makes it that much more special.

Wow, this post turned out to be a little wordy. Sorry, I know you’re only really here to see pictures, so I’ll shut up now.

They are doing the same wood ceiling on the front porch and back LANAI as they are in the great room. I hate calling the “great room” because it sounds like we are building a big house that has a “great room” in it. But really, our great room is literally half of our house. What should I call it? Because calling it living room/dining room/kitchen is a little much. Maybe main room? That sounds less pretentious in my mind. Please don’t take this moment to remind me how pretentious it is to call a back porch a lanai. Because, Golden Girls.  
Cactus will feel much more comfortable in her own skin when we have railings. 


We are OBSESSED with the siding! And we decided we need shutters. (Fun fact, I almost didn’t notice that I had an ‘i’ instead of a ‘u’ in shutters. But yes, we will have those in our house too. HA!) We are going with wood shutters. Hopefully that looks good. 

Sorry, that’s it on the pictures. Stuff just isn’t happening at warp speed like it has been. Glen is starting on the tile today, maybe it will stop raining long enough that they can finish the siding, and the barn wood masters will be wrapping the other beam then getting started on our kitchen cabinets.

Here we go!



1 thought on “Little House on the Ranch Update: Week 14 “The Unicorn Stove Saga””

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