Little House on the Ranch Update: Week 4

Hello again friends!

We are now into week 4 of the #littlehouseontheranch build and I swear it seems like we have been doing this for 7 months already! HA! But, every day when I go down to feed the horses I see more progress, so that’s fun.

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It’s actually starting to look like a house! Our framers are still a week or two out from being able to come do our house, but we think that if Glen keeps going at the rate he is the house will be framed before the actual framers get there. HA!

Check out that stud. Every time I take a picture he does something weird. Then when I tell him “It’s going on the blog!” he pleads for me not to. Sorry honey, I can’t resist.

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This beautiful statue is lovingly known as “creepy girl.” She’s been on a stump on the farm since before we bought it. Trust me when I say that when your headlights hit her at night you will pee yourself a little. Well, we took out the stump and now we don’t know what to do with her. We’ve become oddly attached to her creepy self. Like, I’ve grown accustomed to avoiding eye contact with her going down the driveway and it seems odd to not do so. I’m happy to give her to anyone that likes her and will give her a good home though… any takers?

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In other news, since I have a whole bunch of spare time this fall, I’m currently doing the Kentucky Master Cattlemen Program. And my nerd self is LOVING it. I never took any beef science classes in college so I feel like I’m learning a ton. Luckily I have not been asked what type of cattle or the number of cattle I have by any of the other participants. I don’t think either of my answers would be popular. (Corriente and 4) LOL!

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We also got pansy plugs in a couple weeks ago. I love how cute they are when they are babies. It’s pretty darn amazing how they go from these little bitties to gorgeous flowers in 4-6 weeks.

I’m not sure if you all have heard, but there’s a complete solar eclipse heading across the US next Monday. It just so happens that our little town is right in the main path of the eclipse. They are estimating anywhere from an extra 50,000 to 300,000 people in our town. (Mind you Franklin has a population of around 9,000.) This could get interesting.

Wish us luck!

Laney

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Sure Didn’t See That Coming

Funny story.

I just had 950 words of the dramatic story of a heifer calf’s first days of life, but I somehow deleted it all with the accidental hit of 2 keys. I don’t know what two keys those were. Kind of wish I did. Oh well, I’ll save you all the long saga and get to the bread and butter of the situation.

Daphne had a heifer calf!

And we didn’t know it was coming!

We knew she was bred, and the day before she calved ScubaSteve proclaimed that she would calve sometime in the next month or two. Or, you know, tomorrow. Apparently.

At first Daphne was being a bit of a dead beat momma, but she’s gotten her act together. Plus the best cow in the whole wide world, Delilah, has stepped in to help, and that’s much appreciated by me… and Daphne I’m sure.

Here she is, Miss Sookie St. James Snider, born 4/21/17. Truth be told, there’s a good chance she was born on 4/20, but I don’t want her birthday to be international pot smoking day, so 4/21 it is.

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She’s not spoiled at all.

By the way her name comes from the Gilmore Girls show. One of my other favorite TV shows besides Golden Girls. MyFarmer and I have already decided that Faycee’s future calves will be named after Big Bang Theory characters. And I need another cow for The Office. Then we will have to start watching more TV. Ha!

And for those of you wondering, Laszlo is still doing great. Although he really wasn’t stoked about losing his only child status so quickly. But he has adjusted well and is a lazy little momma’s boy compared to the spunky little heifer calf that has invaded his life.

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When I saw them laying together I melted into a puddle on the barn floor. ❤ 

So there you have it. I have 2 baby calves now. And my life is perfect.

Laney

Ag Day 365 Week 3

The third week of January was unseasonably warm with a couple of days reaching the 70 degree mark. I’m not going to complain about these warm temperatures, but being from Ohio I’m a pretty big fan of snow. This time last year we had about 2 feet of snow on the ground. This year I’m bathing horses in a t-shirt. Weather is a funny thing.

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MyFarmer and I were chosen for the Agricultural Business Leader award given by the Franklin-Simpson Chamber of Commerce. It was such an honor to be chosen for this award, but even more of an honor to be recognized with the other award recipients that evening who are phenomenal at their respective business and professions. THANK YOU so much to the Franklin-Simpson Chamber of Commerce! 
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We raise barley and wheat as cover crops on some of our farm ground. We aren’t sure exactly where our barley goes after it is harvested, but we do know in the past it went to Blue Moon to be made into beer! 
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Delilah is very pregnant, and very fat. I don’t know why she’s so fat! 
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Well, okay… Maybe I have an idea. But the good news is we don’t waste any leftover pumpkins or indian corn! (Or pancakes…)
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Since it was 70 degrees, the boys got a bath. They weren’t at all happy with the situation, but they needed it! All of these warm temperatures and rain mean MUD. Lots of MUD. 
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Daphne is really coming along with her selfie skills. 
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I met a baby pig while shopping. And I died a little inside. I’m 100% terrified of full grown pigs, but widdle precious babes need cuddling… and I’m happy to do my part.  

I hope everyone is off to a great week!

Laney

Stampede Sales

If there is one thing that I have learned from living on a farm for 4 and a half years it’s that you need to have a sense of humor to survive. But when you put your blood, sweat, and tears into something and all the sudden the manure is hitting the fan, it can be extremely disheartening. As farmers we can’t make it rain, we can’t make the sun shine, we can’t make the grain markets go up, and most importantly, we sure as hell can’t control the minds of our cows.

I learned very quickly when Delilah the cow came into my life that poly wire fencing I had for the horses was NOT going to work for her. Even if I tried to keep it electrified one touch of the horn and homegirl was headed to the neighbors. This year I decided to replace the easy-to-escape poly wire with high tensile wire. When talking my plan over with ScubaSteve he was ADAMANT that barbed wire was the way to go. “It’s so much easier to put up!” he says. “Trust me, I’ve been doing this for 60 years!” he says.

Y’all, barbed wire SUCKS to deal with. Especially when you are a horse girl from the suburbs that has no clue what she’s doing. I have scars. I thought I gave myself tetanus. It was a horrific experience.

But eventually I got the fence done. Boy was I proud of myself. 3 strands of hot barbed wire. Get out of that you stupid cows!

Fast forward to the first day of early goose season this year. Ring, ring, I hear my phone going off at 4:41 in the morning. MyFarmer is on the other end of the line close to melt down status.

MyFarmer: “Your cow is out!!”

Me: “Wait, what? Oh, *words I won’t put in writing*, which one?”

MyFarmer: “The little one!”

Me: “*words I won’t put in writing*, I’ll be down in a second.”

Luckily for me, Faycee is about as laid back as they come. She walked back into the barn and through the gate without a fuss. Whatever, cows get out sometimes, it’s a fact of life, I need some coffee.

Fast forward about 4 hours, MyFarmer comes stomping into the house.

“Your cow has completely destroyed the mum pad!”

Oh Lawd.

I go down to the mum pad and the apparent carnage was far worse than the actual carnage. There was probably about 15 mums knocked over and scattered about, but only about 6 out of the 800 were actually damaged. Shew! That could have been so much worse.

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This is what my pristine, non-trampled mum pad usually looks like…
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Bad Cow. 
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Bad BAD Cow. 
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“Did I do that!?” 

Being the pun-loving person that I am, I had a “Stampede Sale” on Facebook and got those trampled/ate mums sold first thing the next day. Everyone got a kick out of it, no harm, no fowl. (Get it? Goose season?? I crack myself up!)

Life was grand for a couple of days until I noticed that Miss Faycee was spending more time OUTSIDE of the pasture than in. She was just going in and out as she pleased. At this point it was obvious that the fence was NOT hot, so I set out troubleshooting the issue. (If you’ve ever had electric fence you know the multitude of tiny things that can be wrong that will cause your fence to not work.)

Of course the fence tester I had was broken, so first things first, take the solar charger to TSC, have them test it, and pick up a new tester. Well, the poor guy electrified the crap out of himself attempting to test the charger, so we know that it is working properly. (I still feel bad that my first reaction was to laugh, not to show some kind of concern.) So home I go with my new tester and a working solar charger. With minimal effort we get the middle strand of the fence working. ScubaSteve and I decided as long as Faycee got zapped by one strand she would stay put. We get everything back together and ScubaSteve yells, “She’s getting ready to put her head through! Quick turn it on!” I run to the corner and flip the switch. “YES! Got her!” laughs Scuba.

With great pride we walk away from the fence thinking we have tamed the escaping heifer beast.

Our victory was short lived. 45 minutes later we look over and Faycee is out in the soybean field on the other side of the pasture.

We herd Faycee back into the pasture and commence to getting the bottom strand working as well. Right about dark we got it working. And *knock on wood* I haven’t SEEN the heifer hanging out on the wrong side of the fence since. Guaranteed she will be out today when I get home from work. Because that’s how life works.

I post most of my ridiculous tales on social media, because, well, I like laughing at myself and I figure the rest of the world should laugh at me too. But the truth is, if I didn’t laugh I would have drowned in my own tears by now.

This life I live is a hot mess y’all. But it’s my hot mess. And I love it.

Laney Hotmess Snider

 

Hello, I’m Right Here!

I had pretty much written Luke Bryan out of my country music playlist. It’s not that I didn’t like some of his stuff, it’s pretty catchy, but like all the other “bros” of bro-country, the cliché “country life” crap was starting to get on my nerves.

Then I got excited. I saw he had a new song out called “Here’s To The Farmer.” I thought, “Yes! Here is a redeemer song for my buddy Luke!” and hit the play button. Hey, this is pretty good, nice little groove, lyrics that don’t necessarily make me want to punch myself in the face. But alas, here comes the chorus, accompanied by the first little sucker punch :

Here’s to the farmer that plants the fields in the spring
That turn from green to that harvest honey
Hold one up for the banker downtown
That got him on his feet with handshake money
Here’s to the farmer’s wife that loves him every night

Okay, I do love MyFarmer every single day. But is the most important role that I play on this farm really just the fact that I supposedly, ahem, “love” him every night?  Good lord I hope not. And are we really giving the BANKER more credit than the wife here?

But you know, I’m still willing to give this video a shot. I’m not going to pull out my pitchfork for one questionable lyric. The song ends, I’m feeling pretty good about it. Then it happens. The music is over, the camera moves over to Mr. Bryan, and he says it.

“Thank you boys.”

Here I am, right here, on this farm, with the ability to do virtually anything and everything my male husband can do. But don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about me or any of the other 969,671 female farm operators in the United States*. I guess the 30% of farm operators that are female probably don’t do much anyway. It’s not like we can actually drive equipment. A woman in a combine? Goodness, don’t be ridiculous! And lets be serious, the only place a woman has on a cattle operation is in the kitchen making hamburgers. Can you even imagine a WOMAN being an agronomist or livestock nutritionist? Lord help us all!

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Here I am, NOT leading a farm tour of Ruby Branch Farms.
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And here, I’m certainly NOT running the tractor and grain cart. Beacause, ovaries.
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And here, I’m not putting out hay in the winter time. Women don’t get cold because they stand in front of the stove all day. 
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This is me, not picking sweet corn. Because if I’m wearing a contraption like this it better have a baby in it!

I’m not going to sit here and lie and say that I could hop in our combine or planter and take off no problem, but I personally know a bunch of women that could. But on that same token, if you asked MyFarmer when the last time the mums/kale/pansies/pumpkins were sprayed, what they were sprayed with, and the rate, he would say, “ask Laney.”

I’m so incredibly proud to be a farmers wife. I love MyFarmer and being married to him is such a fun ride. But I’m also proud to say that I am a farmer. I think as women we tend to just be proud of our husbands and settle for calling ourselves “famers wives”, but dammit, we are so much more than just wives, we are farmers in our own right. And it’s time we are recognized for what we do every day.

So, Mr. Bryan, I’m sorry that you don’t see us out here. Truth be told, you’re missing out on some pretty bad ass women. Your loss.

Laney, Owner/Operator, Ruby Branch Farms

 

*according to the 2012 USDA census

Pansies and Cow Poses

This weekend Ruby Branch Farms had the honor of being a stop on the Simpson County Twilight Farm tour, and man was that fun…even though I thought I was going to throw up before the bus got there. I’m not sure why in the world I was nervous. I’m one of those freaks that loves public speaking. I guess it was because I love my little mum ranch so much and I wanted everyone else to love it too. The tour went really well and I forgot to say a bunch of things that I wanted to, but that’s okay. If you were on the tour, I hope you enjoyed it! And if not, you should have been! This years tour started at Kentucky Downs racetrack where we toured Old Friends, their retired racehorse facility, and that was so fun for 2 reasons: a) because I’m a pony petter and even though I have horses at my house to pet daily if there is a horse in the area that I have not petted before it is going to be petted now, and b) because it is so awesome to see people meet a horse for the first time. People almost get a mystical look in their eyes like they are seeing a unicorn for the first time and it fills my heart with pony petter joy. After that we had dinner at the racetrack pavilion and everyone moved on to Ruby Branch Farms. Everyone listed to me yammer for awhile, then we moved on to a row crop farm, and sheep and cattle farm, and ended up at a commercial vegetable producer that raises produce both outside and in high tunnels. (They also happen to be the farm that raises pumpkins for Ruby Branch. That worked out nicely! 😉 ) If you don’t live in Simpson County, Kentucky, keep a look out for farm tours in your area. It is awesome to see what all gets produced just in your local area! I bet you will be surprised!

We are officially 19 days away from opening weekend at Ruby Branch Farms! (September 10th) As nervous as I was last year to open up I’m doubly EXCITED to open this year! The mums look amazing, we have all kinds of pumpkins, and our 2 new additions, pansies and ornamental kale, are all potted up and looking cute. (Yes, cute. I think my widdle baby plants are just too adorable – I should be medicated.)

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These precious little  babies are our two varieties of pansies we will have available. These little guys grow up really fast and go from this size (plugs) to ready to sell in 4-6 weeks!

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Ornamental Kale and pansies are an awesome fall pair. Why you may ask? Because after all your other weenie flowerbed flowers have decided it is too cold to be beautiful, these two wintertime powerhouses are still working. It’s common to see pansy flowers peaking up through the snow, and Ornamental Kale actually requires cold temperatures to develop their beautiful colors! We will have white, red, and purple varieties of Kale this fall.

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Please allow me to introduce the newest member of Ranchy Ruby Cattle Co, Miss Faycee Mae. She is the result of a trade-off for Salvador Petrillo (Delilah’s bull calf born earlier this year.)

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She came out of the same herd as Delilah and they are probably related somewhere down the line. Faycee’s momma is known as “Funny Face” and she is the first calf out of Funny Face to leave the ranch. I feel very privileged to have her. She’s pretty darn cute.

Of course when I went to the pasture to get pictures of Faycee, Miss #delilahthediva was NOT going to go unnoticed.

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If that’s not a cow pose I truly don’t know what one is.

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Delilah really likes to get up close and personal with the camera.

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Like, really close.

Sometimes it bothers me that my cows selfie game is much stronger than mine.

Have a great Monday! We will see you soon at Ruby Branch Farms!

Laney the Pansy

Awesome Things

There are a lot of awesome things going on in my little world right now that I feel the need to share with the blogosphere.

  1. My precious little 4-H horse judging team WON STATE CONTEST this week. I’m so proud of them! That earns our team invitations to compete at Southern Regional’s in Perry, Georgia, Eastern Nationals in Louisville, KY and The All American Quarter Hose Congress in Columbus, Ohio.

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    These kids. They’re awesome. As a team they were 2nd in performance, halter, and reasons and 1st overall. I’m so proud to be their coach! 
  2. Barley Harvest has begun! I love the fact that we get to have 2 “harvest seasons” in Kentucky. We grow barley and wheat as cover crops in the winter (cover crops are great because they help prevent soil run-off and add extra organic matter back into the soil, among other things) and we will plant soybeans after the barley and wheat are cut. That’s called double-cropping for those of you interested in farm terminology. I KNOW you are here for educational purposes.

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    It’s the most wonderful time(s) of the year!
  3. Our sweet corn and Indian corn are looking AMAZING. I swear if you sit there and watch it you can hear it grow. Almost. Well, not really, but you get the point: it’s growing fast. Some of our first-planted will be tasseling in less than a week. Not much longer until we have delicious sweet corn! Oh, and if you’re wondering, the Indian corn struggle is still real. Growing that stuff makes me question life.
  4. The Florida State Seminoles softball team made it to the World Series again this year! GO NOLES! In case you’re wondering why I care about a softball team in Florida so much, MyFarmer’s brother, LaCraig, is an assistant coach for FSU Softball. So I’m contractually obligated to be a fan. HA!
  5.  Delilah, Daphne, and baby Salvador Petrillo Snider went to summer camp this week! The girls were very excited to see their sisters and cousins and Sal is going to have so much fun playing with the other babies. I do miss them already though! And every time I go by their empty pasture I have a moment of panic because the cows are not in there, and that’s usually not a good thing.
  6. MUM PLUGS COME IN NEXT WEEK! This year we have close to 800 plugs coming, compared to about 215 last year. It’s going to be a long week but I’m so excited!
  7. While we are talking about mums, lets talk about our latest addition at Ruby Branch Farms – “The Bin”. We took an old grain bin that we no longer use on the farm and converted it into our sales pavilion. I LOVE IT. I’m so excited to decorate it this fall!

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    I mean seriously, how cute is this little dude?
  8. My “baby sister” Juju got married and I was NOT emotionally prepared for it, apparently. I was a complete hott mess. I cried EVERY TIME I looked at her in that wedding dress. I wanted nothing more than to force her to be 7 years old showing DZ’s Rockin Reba in walk/trot again. But I am so happy for her and her new husband. Fun fact, my sister, Juju, and I all married farmers. What are the odds? Actually, if you know the three of us you would say the odds were probably pretty high.

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    *Holding back tears as I post this picture*
  9. Apparently I’m going to be on a radio show today to talk about a horse show that I am putting on for the fair board on the 25th. The text message telling me this was happening came through about 4 minutes ago. That should be fun!
  10. I have pumpkins growing! This year we are having a little pumpkin patch for the kids at Ruby Branch Farms. This is our first time with pumpkins so it’s going to be an adventure. More to come on that I’m sure. HA!

I hope you are having a great day, friends! And if you’re not, try writing down 10 awesome things going on in your life right now. Automatic great mood!

Laney